I shouldn't laugh...

So yesterday was the BIG DAY in J's world. The doc had ordered a semen analysis back in January and my husband has managed to wriggle out of and avoid it. Til now. He grumbled the whole way up to Cleveland. He fidgeted and glowered in the waiting room. When they called his name, he slunk (is that a word? Regardless, that's what he did). And the look on his face when he reemerged 20 minutes later made me about wet my pants. It was a priceless combination of awkward-embarrassed-uncomfortable-oh-my-gosh-the-only-reason-I'm-not-running-out-of-here-is-my-wife. And in the car he moaned about how the list of instructions in "the room" was stressful, and getting the little cup out of it's packaging was difficult and "even the cap was sealed in plastic! why couldn't they give you scissors?" and "it's really hard to shoot it into a little cup" and "why was there a gay man's magazine in there? Why are gay men having their semen analyzed in a fertility clinic?". I chewed my lips off trying not to laugh, and I only pointed out twice that at least he didn't have anything pinched, popped or gushing blood after. Lunch seemed to brighten the man up a bit. But several times throughout the day, he referred to his harrowing and "traumatic" experience.

Now, typically, I am a very sympathetic and supportive person. Yesterday, I had to fake it.

And then we got a call from the techs later that day, which was a surprise because the results aren't supposed to be in for 3-5 days. Turns out they'll need another sample because what they found in the cup was Elmer's white glue.

Guffaw. Yes, that last bit was a lie. J and I had a good laugh about how funny it would be if some guy actually tried that.

I told him not to worry about it - that would be the only time he'd ever have to do that... unless we decide to go the IUI route in which case he'll have to do it once a month til it works. He was not pleased. But then I asked him if he'd rather wazz in a cup or get amorous with a turkey baster with a doc and two technicians looking on. The jury is apparently still out.

In any case, it was an amusing day. And we'll know by the end of the week how his little swimmer buddies are doing.

And it was also a good day. We had a yummy lunch, wandered around a bunch of stores and pretended we're made of money - or rather, pretended we had money and fantasized about what we'd do if we were made of it. I bought two awesome VS bras (heard of "the Perfect One"? Yeah, it's perfect. I will never take mine off), and he bought a slew of kitchen stuff including *drumroll* a potato ricer, star anise (which is hard to find in these parts), and three exotic salts - one from the Jurassic period y'all -, a doodad (technical term) for the storage of garlic and something else... Hm. And we held hands a lot. And we had some great conversations. I really do love the man, ridiculous as he can be from time to time. :)

Today we head south for a bit for some browsing around more cool culinary-ish stores, lunch and dinner. Hopefully with friends. Yesssss.