3rd Saturday of Lent

"Brethren, recall the former days when, after you were enlightened, you endured a hard struggle with sufferings, sometimes being publicly exposed to abuse and affliction, and sometimes being partners with those so treated. For you had compassion on the prisoners, and you joyfully accepted the plundering of your property, since you knew that you yourselves had a better possession and an abiding one. Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that you may do the will of God and receive what is promised. "For yet a little while, and the coming one shall come and shall not tarry; but my righteous one shall live by faith." - Hebrews 10:32-38

For yet a little while, and the coming one shall come and shall not tarry...

Apolytikion in the Second Tone: O Apostles, martyrs, prophets, hierarchs, righteous, and just ones, who have finished your course well and have kept the Faith: seeing ye have boldness with the Saviour, beseech Him for us, since He is good, that our souls be saved, we pray.

I love Great Lent. There is such a feeling of expectation and excitement even as we struggle. (He is coming! He is coming!)

The Fast has been a little bit of a challenge, but so far, it's also been the best one for me so far. I've been more intentional about what I'm eating - thinking it through, planning it out - and I'm actually feeling not deprived, interestingly, but satisfied. Some of J's friends marched a meat lover's pizza into my house on Wednesday night, and I sure oh sure did feel the fast then. But hey.

I've started noticing things about myself that I've never really seen before. I think somehow I'm more able to hear the little voice in my head that tends to constantly grumble, mutter, and come up with snarky sarcastic retorts. You know that voice? That one that, when you find a sink full of dishes, starts muttering to yourself, "I guess everyone else around here has broken arms... Oh sure, like I have nothing else better to do... Why would he bother..." You know that voice? It chatters away in my head almost constantly. But I realized yesterday that a good amount of the time, it's coming up with utterly contradictory complaints. If the kids are playing video games, it grumbles that they're too lazy to do anything else. If they want to play games with people or do projects, it grumbles that they're incapable of entertaining themselves. Good lord a'mighty. No wonder I get so grouchy. I'm impossible to please.

So I'm learning to tell that little voice that if it can't say anything nice, it can just shut the hell up. :)