Pieces

I am having a hard time.

First, there's all that. Which we hardly need to go into, because you already know. Oh, but today I found out another dear friend of mine is pregnant and due in November. Thrilling, and I'm truly ecstatic for her. Truly. But I'm not going to lie. I got in my car and cried.

Then, there's J's ex wife. She is giving me fits. Personal attacks on me, using the kids, harming them to get at us, etc etc etc. She is evil, and far beyond the misfortune of a few months ago, she is the greatest thing in my life that makes me wonder about the justice of the universe. How are such people to be tolerated? How does God go on, watching them, unblinking? I'm buzzed. I know the anwer to that. But I'm angry, strike that, furious, and I'm hurting, so stuff bubbles out.

Then, there's this crazy woman I do work for. The long and short of it is that she's not paid me since February and is presently withholding that money until she gets out of me all the contacts, data, etc, I use to do my job. I know she's replacing me from other sources. Not from her. I don't care. She's a pain in the neck and I'm up for something new anyhow. But she's like a lite version of J's ex and I'm slowly going mad dealing with the both of them.

And my kitties are at each other's throats, literally. They're my babies, and one is always trying to kill the other and it's breaking my heart.

I am not a conflict-happy person. I feel totally under attack from all sides and I'm tired.

So again I say,

give us this day our daily bread...
and forgive us our trespasses...
as we forgive those who trespass against us...