Massive props

Massive props to my blogger buddy xbox. Massive. I laughed, I cried. Sounds corny, but true. Check it out.

I shouldn't laugh...

So yesterday was the BIG DAY in J's world. The doc had ordered a semen analysis back in January and my husband has managed to wriggle out of and avoid it. Til now. He grumbled the whole way up to Cleveland. He fidgeted and glowered in the waiting room. When they called his name, he slunk (is that a word? Regardless, that's what he did). And the look on his face when he reemerged 20 minutes later made me about wet my pants. It was a priceless combination of awkward-embarrassed-uncomfortable-oh-my-gosh-the-only-reason-I'm-not-running-out-of-here-is-my-wife. And in the car he moaned about how the list of instructions in "the room" was stressful, and getting the little cup out of it's packaging was difficult and "even the cap was sealed in plastic! why couldn't they give you scissors?" and "it's really hard to shoot it into a little cup" and "why was there a gay man's magazine in there? Why are gay men having their semen analyzed in a fertility clinic?". I chewed my lips off trying not to laugh, and I only pointed out twice that at least he didn't have anything pinched, popped or gushing blood after. Lunch seemed to brighten the man up a bit. But several times throughout the day, he referred to his harrowing and "traumatic" experience.

Now, typically, I am a very sympathetic and supportive person. Yesterday, I had to fake it.

And then we got a call from the techs later that day, which was a surprise because the results aren't supposed to be in for 3-5 days. Turns out they'll need another sample because what they found in the cup was Elmer's white glue.

Guffaw. Yes, that last bit was a lie. J and I had a good laugh about how funny it would be if some guy actually tried that.

I told him not to worry about it - that would be the only time he'd ever have to do that... unless we decide to go the IUI route in which case he'll have to do it once a month til it works. He was not pleased. But then I asked him if he'd rather wazz in a cup or get amorous with a turkey baster with a doc and two technicians looking on. The jury is apparently still out.

In any case, it was an amusing day. And we'll know by the end of the week how his little swimmer buddies are doing.

And it was also a good day. We had a yummy lunch, wandered around a bunch of stores and pretended we're made of money - or rather, pretended we had money and fantasized about what we'd do if we were made of it. I bought two awesome VS bras (heard of "the Perfect One"? Yeah, it's perfect. I will never take mine off), and he bought a slew of kitchen stuff including *drumroll* a potato ricer, star anise (which is hard to find in these parts), and three exotic salts - one from the Jurassic period y'all -, a doodad (technical term) for the storage of garlic and something else... Hm. And we held hands a lot. And we had some great conversations. I really do love the man, ridiculous as he can be from time to time. :)

Today we head south for a bit for some browsing around more cool culinary-ish stores, lunch and dinner. Hopefully with friends. Yesssss.

OK so

So. Not the most funnest set of days, these last 4-5. The hubby and I were... "not seeing eye to eye" you could say. Not fun. I think it's all resolved, but it's amazing how much domestic strife just takes it out of you.

And then work tonight sucked. I'm talking 7% overall. Yes, 7. Half of what I "should have made" and far less than the percentage I usually take. AND I had shitheads. Not just cheapskates, but cheapskate shitheads. Ugh.

On the up side, I got an hour and a half nap this afternoon. Probably saved me from crying at work. Huge props to the hubby for letting me just totally go unconscious (I don't think he was up to anything... "nefarious"... so there was nothing in it for him, heh heh) this afternoon.

PLUS, the hubby and I are going to spend the next few days "Spring Breaking". So we're just going to go to one city, and then another, and drink some glasses of wine and eat a couple tasty meals. And J's going to get his semen analyzed (nyeh nyeh nyeh). And we're going to make like bunnies afterwards (woot!). You know, "just relaxing". (On a side note, does pessimism count as relaxation?)

And I have a kitty on my lap, and that always makes the world a little brighter.

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

So. I am a much better person with a buzz. White wine is best.

I'm more patient, more relaxed, less on edge. What is one to make of that? I certainly can't spend my life buzzing. Intentional alcoholism is alcoholism nonetheless, eh? *sigh*

All I know is that this ache for a baby is ... pervasive ... no matter what I try to do about it. And it affects me. But white wine seems to undo it. I am the stepmom I want to be with a buzz. Plus, I'm sort of reeling from a string of criticisms on the spouse front. So the last 24 hours have been unpleasant. And again, white wine undoes it.

So tell me, to drink or not to drink? That is the question.

Signed, sealed, delivered

Here we are, CD16. I'm plumb sick of peeing on sticks, so I bypassed the OPKs this month. We've got the timing thing down pat, anyhow, and I hightly doubt I'm going to suddenly start ovulating on CD10 or something, so hey, we're covered. *sigh*

Clean Monday

"The springtime of the Fast has dawned, the flower of repentance has begun to open..."

Yesterday at church, I learned a small handful of new things. First, I learned that the Great Lent officially starts today, known as Clean Monday. I wasn't sure if it had already started last week or not. Apparently Meatfare Sunday through Cheesefare Sunday (one week) is a preparation time. You get ready. Today, we buckle down. You're also apparently supposed to thoroughly clean your house. We'll see if that gets done. It needs to be. The symbolism and the fact of it are not lost on me. :)

Apparently, there is a tradition (though it is not recommended that most people do it. In fact, they recommend that most do not, and if you do, it needs to be under a fair amount of guidance from your god parent or confessor) where some people do not allow anything - not food, not even water - to pass their lips from Communion on Sunday yesterday til the Service of the Pre-Sanctified (but don't ask me what that is) on Wednesday night. YIKES.

Also. And this was cool. At the end of the service yesterday, we had what's called the Ceremony of Mutual Forgiveness where every single person asked forgiveness from every other single person in the church, and it was mutually granted. (They had quite the system rigged up so that eveyr person actually met with and shook hands with everybody else) It was odd, because though I've been going for 4 years, I've only just started being more involved with the church and hardly know most of these people at all. But it made me think. It's possible to commit harms against people you hardly know, and it's possible to do it without even knowing. So I suppose it wasn't just an exercise. It did make me want to go into work and ask people's forgiveness there. I didn't. I was a bit of a chicken. But what good is it, really, to fast and pray with the intent of approaching God when things with your neighbor are still a mess? :-/

A few short notes

Dear party of one, table 64,
Wow, thank you for the 100% tip. I'd hoped, with your bill of $13.47 that you'd hand me $17 and tell me to keep it. I mean, that would have been awesome. I didn't expect you to hand me $27 and tell me to keep it. You're a little old lady for pete's sake. How was I supposed to have known? But then, that's the delight of it. Or at least part of the delight in it (because the extra $10 is pretty cool in itself). I would have deserved a 20% tip. I didn't deserve 100%. It's nice, from time to time, when the tip tells more about the person giving it than the person getting it. Or rather, it's nice when it works out that way in a good way. Some people are just plain cheap, no way around it. Others, like you, are just plain generous. I want to be like you.

Dear party of one, table 64 (a different one),
I'm sorry I originally pegged you as the sort who'd stalk me after work and murder me with a pick. You looked freaky, really. I mean, shaggy hair, baseball cap pulled down over your eyes, black skull T-shirt, you mumbled... How was I supposed to have known? But then, that's the delight of it. Or at least part of the delight of it (because the 25% tip you left was pretty awesome in itself). I couldn't have guessed, and it's always just plain COOL to stumble into a pool of gentleness and kindness where it's not expected. You were very nice, very pleasant, and I'd wait on you again in a minute. I hope you had a nice evening and a lovely day tomorrow. May someone bring a ray of unexpected sunshine into your life, just as you did mine.

(Entertaining angels? Either way...)

I had a good night at work, and a good night after work. :)